Shrieeeeek!! I'm planning a WEDDING!

Here it is...my first wedding post! (Of MANY, no doubt!)

I'm soooooooo excited. For reals. (Can you tell by my excessive vowel-usage?)

We only have 4 and a half months 'til the big day. SO much to do. Dress shopping will hopefully happen this month when my girls come visit us in Mad-town. I want lace. And cheap. That's what I know. (We are being as budget conscious as we can with this shin-dig!)

We have picked a color! Deep purple. Going to be LOVELY.

And our venue is secured...lucky, lucky me to have a brother who owns a FABULOUS restaurant that houses a banquet hall upstairs! Woot!

Here it is!

Our attendant's are all on  board (three per side). A fabulous photographer friend is signed on. We're working on guest list, décor, food, etc. Lots to do, so little time...but soooo much fun! Can't wait to share some of our DIY's we've decided on with you all!

Shrieeeeek! I'm getting MARRIED!!!!

The Thankful Project - Day 27

I'm still following along over at the Chasing Happy blog, participating in The Thankful Project. They are on Day 27...I got a late start but did a full recap of the days I missed here.

Today is A SIMPLE PLEASURE.

Ohhh my. I don't even know where to begin. Warm sunshine streaming through my window. Warm days where we can leave the windows open and let the breeze blow through the house. (Missing days like that right now...it's getting pretty frigid outside! Brrr!) Watching one of my older boys read to one of the younger ones. Morning cuddling in bed with my love. Having my nails done. Christmas music playing while we decorate the Christmas tree. The list could go on and on...

There are so many little things to be thankful for in my life. Some days, it's hard to remember that. When bills pile up...when kids misbehave...when life in general just gets overwhelming.

But there are so many wonderful little things, that are so easy to take for granted. I am thankful for the reminder to appreciate the simple pleasures in life.

Hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. <3

Catching up on some Thanks

While I'm at it, I want to do a less in-depth run down of all the days of thankfulness I missed from Kenzie at Chasing Happy's "The Thankful Project". Better late, than never...right? (Or as I LOVE to tell my kids..."Am I right or am I right?" bahahaha! I can see their eyes rolling at me now!)

Ok...onward!

11/1: A PERSON
My "sister-in-law" (or so we will call her). She's been my closest friend (other than my fiancé himself) since we moved, and I'm thankful for her presence, to laugh with, to listen to me vent, to give me a hug when I REALLY need one. She's good stuff.

11/2: A ROLE YOU'VE PLAYED
Momma. Nothing has ever filled me with such satisfaction as being the best Mom I can to my four boys. I am FAR from perfect, but they love me anyway...through every mistake...every bad day. It is by far, hands down, the most wonderful thing I've ever done with my life...having those boys.

11/3: A PLACE
Madison. Madison breathed new life into me when I truly needed it. I needed hope and a break and freedom...this beautiful city gave me all three. I truly believe I will be here forever.

11/4: AN EXPERIENCE
My youngest son's dad left us. Left our family after five years. And for the most part, he never looked back. At the time, I thought it was the worst possible thing that could ever happen. But what I learned was how strong I am. How much I can accomplish. I learned how to have some self-worth. Had he not left, I might still be in the same sick cycle of that detrimental relationship. So today and every day, I am grateful not just that he left (that sounds awful, I know...) but I am incredibly grateful for what it taught me about myself.
 
11/5: A TALENT YOU HAVE
Photography. Not bragging. I'm no photographic prodigy or anything. I took a short run at a photography business many moons ago. (It wasn't for me.) But I can take a good photo. I can connect with people and get a true smile out of someone who claims they aren't photogenic. I've done family photos for lots of friends and they are so incredibly grateful for the photos...I am grateful for the ability to provide them.

11/6: A FAILURE
I am thankful for every failed relationship I've ever had. Had they not failed, I wouldn't have learned form them, and I wouldn't be with my soul mate today.

11/7: A JOB
There were A LOT of things I disliked about my old job (I was an Engineering Tech Writer), but I cannot deny the great amount of things I learned (both about the job and about myself). I was given amazing leadership opportunities, the chance to travel, lean management skills and experience and I had the most wonderful boss anyone could ever hope for. I am thankful every day for the opportunities I had there.

11/8: WORDS
I've begun listening to our local Christian station...Life 102.5...and I just love it. It always seems that whenever I need it most, I will hear just the right song to lift my spirit or give me strength. I am thankful for the words coming across my speakers as I drive home from work each evening. No matter what I'm stressed about, they calm me in some way or another.

11/9: A PHOTO
How do I do it? How do I pick just ONE photo? I've taken hundreds...maybe thousands of goofy, silly faced photos with my boys. Laughing and crazy photos with friends. A bazillion family photos over the years. I can't choose. So then I think of how certain moments in life made me feel, and I am drawn to a point in time, where there was a lot of uncertainty in my life. And through it all, my best friend (who is now my fiancé) and I never lost site of how much we cared about each other. Through all of our ups and downs, we never once, for a moment stopped loving each other. So I choose my very favorite photo of us, from what seems like so long ago now. Before we ever dated...just happy to have each other in our lives.

 

11/10: A MEMORY

Memories can be good or bad. I would've thought my automatic response to a memory I am thankful for would be to a good memory, but it wasn't. My first thoughts went to me cleaning out my totaled Chevy Avalanche. My ex totaled our truck and left it roadside and ran, leaving me to deal with the mess. (Literally and figuratively.) I am thankful for the memory of tromping through the snow and slush at the vehicle impound in my winter boots, digging my toddler's glass filled car seat out of the back, thanking God he hadn't been with his dad...cutting my hands as I pulled my belongings from this totaled vehicle...explaining to my son's the dangerous outcome of substance abuse followed by driving...shaking as I realized the back tires were in the bed of the truck because he tore the rear axle right off the vehicle...and growing stronger every second knowing I would never, ever allow his antics back into my life. It's not a good memory, but it was a healing one, and for that I am thankful.

 

11/11: SOMETHING YOU WERE TAUGHT

Patience. Some people are innately patient. Some people are not patient at all, and don't care. I learned patience. I guess I wasn't "taught" by anyone in particular, but so many people displayed patience with me, and I learned by example. I am now, quite deliberately patient...and I am proud of that.

 

11/12: AN OPPORTUNITY

I am thankful for the opportunity I had to train to become an Emergency Medical Technician and for my further training with an all volunteer ambulance service "back home". The training, the friendships, the help we have provided. All of it was part of one amazing opportunity that I feel blessed to have been involved in.

 

(Disclaimer...these are all training photos...there were NO actual injured patients at the time they were taken.)

 

Extrication training...

 

 

 

Every 15 Minutes program...

 

Ice Water Rescue training...

 

11/13: AN ABILITY

I can cook. I wouldn't call it a talent, but I'm certainly capable of cooking a good, homemade meal, large or small, and having people enjoy it. It makes me heart happy to be able to feed my family good healthy meals, comfort foods, and special treats. And I make a mean pot of soup...just sayin'. :)

 

Yummmm....

 

 

11/14: A BLESSING

The home I live in is a blessing. It is owned by my fiancé's parents and they allow us, as well as his brothers family to live there and we all are truly blessed that they have given us this opportunity.

 

11/15: AN ANNOYANCE

My phone. My stupid silly iPhone with it's destroyed (we're talking shattered) screen, it's non-functional front facing camera and it's plethora of other problems. But it works. It lets me call and text and even check facebook, so really...what do I have to complain about?

 

11/16: SOMETHING YOU OWN

The fiancé gifted me a women's devotional bible when he learned I was re-exploring the idea of faith. I actually find it really hard to follow, but it's such a thoughtful gift, and it is nice to have with me when I need it. I'm very thankful for it.

 

11/17: A ROOM

Our bedroom. It is a work-in-progress, but it has my beloved "Don't Give Up" print hanging above our bed. It has the silly robot painting we found at a yard sale. It has my duvet which makes me smile every time I see it on my bed, all made up. It's just one of my favorite places to hang out. Love it. (This grainy, low-light photo doesn't do it justice...promise.)

11/18: A CHOICE
 Moving to Madison was not an easy decision...especially considering two of my boys stayed back home with their dad's. But I knew what I had to do, had the courage to make the choice that was right for me, even though it was being looked upon negatively by some others, and I went for it. Thankful every day.

11/19: A BOOK
I'm going to cheat a little and say the entire Harry Potter series. (Don't judge me. LOL!) These books are so amazingly well written. The story is wonderful. I can read them alone or with my kids. I can read them over and over again. I adore them and am thankful to have them.

11/20: SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER OR BEST FRIEND
I just smiled when I read that. My significant other IS my best friend, and for THAT I am thankful. I'm thankful he listens to me when I need to be listened to. I am thankful he is frugal, by nature, and helps me remember things to conserve energy and to save us money. I am thankful for his big beautiful smile, and his big strong arms. I am thankful how sometimes, just when I need it, he knows just the right thing to say. I love him.

11/21: SOMETHING THAT'S EASY TO TAKE FOR GRANTED
The fact that I have a job. Some days when I'm tired and don't want to get up...or when it's been a long day at work and a permanent vacation is sounding just too nice...I remember that some people are working really, very hard to FIND a job. And I have one. A good one. Without a college education. I am blessed.

11/22: AN EXPECTATION
I expect, now that we have found OUR church, we will continue to go regularly...I can't wait!

11/23: SOMETHING YOU'VE SEEN

This is going to seem silly but I don't care. I went to a MUSE concert last year. Two things stuck with me. The beauty of the city that is Minneapolis. I never, EVER thought for one second I would be a "city girl" and I was struck by and smitten with that city. It started the wheels turning in my head of moving. And the concert itself. I was completely awe-struck. It was STUNNING. To this day, I find it hard to verbalize. (Which if you know me, is comical, because I can talk at length about pretty much anything! ha!) I will never, ever forget that concert or the way it made me feel.

11/24: A PHYSICAL TRAIT I HAVE
My teeth. Hands down. I am so thankful to never have had braces and yet have a mouthful of straight, pretty teeth. And not only that, but I am completely (ridiculously) afraid of the dentist, so I avoid it unless I absolutely HAVE to go...and yet, my teeth are strong and healthy. I'm a lucky girl. Plus, I love using a big, happy smile to make someone's day.

Cheeeeeeese :)

 

11/25: SOMETHING YOU KNOW

I know that no matter what I do or say, my sons and my parents will always love me. I know they will.

 

 



 

The Thankful Project

As I am finding my way back to blogging (I used to write and read almost daily...I miss it), I'm finding new and wonderful, inspiring blogs I am loving to read.

One that I recently happened across is "Chasing Happy". The title caught my eye and now, so has her blog. It's a wonderful read and I highly recommend it! Definitely added to my list of blogs to follow!

Kenzie, at Chasing Happy is currently hosting a blogging challenge she has called "The Thankful Project".  I'm coming way late to the party...we're talking 26 days late, but I'm  here, nonetheless, and I'm thankful, so I'm joining in the fun!

Today is Day 26...CRITICISM YOU RECEIVED.

I like this one. I'm not anti-criticism. Don't get me wrong...I aim to please. I never want to feel like I didn't do my best or like I let someone down. But criticism, delivered properly, is a very powerful tool. Criticism delivered properly and with LOVE can be life changing.

I will readily admit that my younger brothers both seem to "have it together" more than me...especially lately. One just opened an AMAZING restaurant, and the other just bought and is renovating his first house! Needless to say, I am extremely proud of both of them...especially considering I'm the "big sister" and they probably looked up to me when we were younger, and now I'm looking up to them.

At any rate, my brother B has always been a solid "voice of reason" to me. He can say the same thing as almost anyone else, but for some reason, he is capable of wording it and delivering it in such a way that it really hits home with me.

I have had, we will say, a tumultuous past year or two. Lots (and lots and lots) of ups and downs. And I won't lie, it hasn't been the most fun rollercoaster I've ever been on. But I'm choosing now, to have faith that I'm heading in the right direction, and will continue to learn and grow and always do my best.

During one particular low moment in my past, my brother called me to see how I was doing. (aka: my mom made him try to get a hold of me because I wasn't answering anyone's calls.) We talked for a while, and he listened to what I had to say. And then, after patiently listening to my rambling, he brought up a time about a year earlier, where we had all gotten together at our mom's house for a BBQ and we had taken a bunch of photos. He reminded me of that day and said "You don't smile like that anymore. What happened? Is it worth it?"

Boom. Homerun, out of the park. HIT HOME. He wasn't saying anything different than anyone else was saying to me. He just delivered it in a way that it was effective.

So for that moment, for those words of criticism (with love) from my brother....I am thankful.

- jenn

Search for a Church (Pt. 1)

Oh happy day! We have found OUR church!

Years ago, when I was a 15 year old girl (don't even ask me how many years ago that was) being forced to attend Catholic church with my family, the time came that I was to start Confirmation Classes. These classes cost money. I had to, after years of struggling with the idea of faith, tell my mother not to waste her money.

For the record, that's not a fun conversation to have...telling your mother you aren't sure you even believe in God.

At any rate, she disapproved but was supportive enough to let me make my own decision. I am still grateful for that. (As opposed to other family members who scoffed and told me I was "going to hell"...but that's another story for another day.)

What I told my mother then, and have told countless other people since, is that I believed if/when you found a church or religion that is right for you, you would just KNOW. I had to believe, that until I felt that unexplainable feeling...that compulsion to be there and be involved...until that time came, I just knew it wasn't right for me and was honestly just wasting my time and everyone else's time.

Have you ever had that feeling? Where you just know you're in the right place at the right time? Or you meet someone new, and for some reason you are just sure that you met them for a reason...that your lives were meant to be brought together?

An experience like that with someone is part of what started drawing me back towards faith. (More on that later.) And I remained convinced that if I ever found the right church (or religion) for me, I would just know it. I would know it the moment I walked in.

Last week we tried a new church...our first since moving to the Madison area. It was a big, beautiful building. Decent message. The pastor was certainly excited to be there, which is nice. They had a band, which I thought was cool. (I'd never attended a non-denominational service before nor had I seen a church with a house band. I love music so I thought that was pretty awesome.) It had all these wonderful things about it, and I wanted SO badly to love it...and I just didn't. I struggled through the sermon (is that even the right word? I'm new to this remember...) and was quite confused a lot of the time. And while on one hand, I was glad we kind of just blended in to the giant crowd in attendance, part of me felt uncomfortable. The entire experience felt impersonal. I was already feeling a little lost, so that was a difficult feeling for me to try to overcome...feeling lost in the shuffle.

Now, please don't get me wrong. Had I told one single person in that church that I wanted to talk a little more or had I even mentioned that I was new, I'm sure they would have been helpful, receptive and welcoming. I have no doubt. But still, at the end of the day, what I knew was, this bright, beautiful happy place just wasn't the right fit for me. (For us, I should say. My fiancé is a long time believer but has struggled with faith at times in his life. He and I shared very similar sentiments about our experience last weekend.)

Ohhh, but this past Sunday. What an AWESOME day. We have found THE church. OUR church. And I can't wait to go back next week. (I can't believe I'm even saying that honestly, but it's the truth. I can't wait for next Sunday.)

To be continued...

Finding My Way...

"You want to blog? Find your niche," they said.

"What's your angle?"

"Write about something new..."

So I thought and I thought, and I did some laundry. And I thought. And I went to work. And then to church. And I thought some more. And then I ran a kid to wrestling practice. And then I thought about it some more. And then I realized...my CRAZY life IS my niche!

Try to hang with me here...

So...I recently relocated with half of my kids (that's two, of my four, for the record) to Madison.

I am a former self-proclaimed atheist, trying to find faith and learning a lot about myself. I'm currently in the process of doing a lot of reading and trying to find a Christian church I love.

I live in a house with my fiancé, two of my sons, my fiancés brother and his girlfriend, their two sons, a family cousin, and sometimes his three children. Plus two dogs, a mouse and a guinea pig. **deep breath** Still with me? Hang in there...

I'm trying to plan a wedding in...wait for it....wait for it...FIVE months. (Not even. Yikes!)

I want to start school, ASAP...you know...because I'm not busy enough with work, kids sports, potty training, doing laundry, wedding planning, etc.  (Seriously though, I am a licensed EMT and want to become an RN...hopefully to someday work in a trauma center.)

I want to become a runner. I have arthritis in one ankle. These two things do not jive. (Plus I totally LOATHE running...but I really WANT to love it. Hmph.)

I could go on...but you get the idea. Life is crazy around here. but I guess that's what is working for us right now. And ALL of this while still trying to figure out who I am, what I want, how to find time for the things I love (cooking, photography, reading, etc.) and learning how to (soon) be a good wife to my good man. We'll figure it out...just gotta find my way.